查比利 发表于 2023-8-1 22:02   全显示 1楼
感觉婚前这段在这下去的话有点跟开头矛盾了，第一章明显能感觉到夫妻两个结婚前老婆跟死胖子没有发生过任何逾越的事，现在回忆起来越来越暧昧了，感觉跟开头越走越远了似的，有点矛盾，这么好的一篇文章作者大大千万别写乱了最后不好圆。
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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +5 认真回复，奖励！ 2023-8-1 22:06
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